Ministering the Savior’s Way

Talk by Debi Gilmore

Washington Utah East Stake Relief Society 2^nd Counselor

I have been pondering on an event in the history of the world that to me, is one of the most significant following the Savior’s death on the cross. In order to heighten our understanding of what it was like for the people, I feel it is important to provide a brief overview of their experience before the Savior came to the Nephites in America. 

We know that immediately after the Savior’s spirit left His body, the earth fell into utter turmoil. The scriptures describe something unimaginable, and certainly terrifying and traumatizing for those who survived. When we experience a modern-day earthquake the average length of the entire event may be a few seconds, or maybe up to a minute in duration. The milder earthquakes are somewhat disturbing when they last just a few seconds. 

The horrifying destruction from natural disasters following the death of Jesus Christ lasted much longer than a few seconds. I would like to invite you to imagine being there, as one of the Nephites living in America. Imagine witnessing this frightening and life-changing event. The destruction went on for 3 hours, and no one knew how long it would last or if it would ever end. It must have been traumatic and desperately shocking for those living at the time.

Elder Eldred G. Smith, Patriarch to the Church said:

“We are told there was great destruction in Jerusalem; the veil of the temple was “rent in twain.” The destruction was much greater, however, on this continent. There were great convulsions of the earth. In three hours, cities were destroyed, some buried, some burnt. Mountains appeared where cities had been. There was storm, then tempest, and a great dense darkness covered the entire land.” (Elder Eldred G. Smith, Three Days in the Tomb, April 1974 General Conference)

Finally, the earth ceased to tremble, and for the next 3 days there was utter darkness with complete absence of any light whatsoever. Again, those who survived this terrible event had no idea how long this phase would last. We learn from the scriptural descriptions that at times there was whaling and crying from those who had lost loved ones. At other times there was silence, but we also know that a voice came from heaven, which was the voice of the Savior, Jesus Christ. 

“Behold, I am Jesus Christ the Son of God. I created the heavens and the earth, and all things that in them are. I was with the Father from the beginning. I am in the Father, and the Father in me; and in me hath the Father glorified his name. I came unto my own, and my own received me not. And the scriptures concerning my coming are fulfilled.” (3 Ne. 9:15–16.)

The voice of the Savior clarified for the people, why this destruction was happening. He told them the turmoil of the earth had happened because of the wickedness of the people, but that the more righteous had been spared. Now, imagine if you are hearing this, a confirmation that your survival indicates the Savior sees you as one of the “more righteous.” 

Gathering at the Temple in the Land Bountiful

Finally, the sun rose again, the smoke had lifted, and the people gathered around the temple, marveling at what had occurred. Again, try to place yourself there, as if you are witnessing this miraculous event.

3 Nephi 11: “And it came to pass that while they were thus conversing one with another, they heard a voice as if it came out of heaven; and they cast their eyes round about, for they understood not the voice which they heard; and it was not a harsh voice, neither was it a loud voice; nevertheless, and notwithstanding it being a small voice it did pierce them that did hear to the center, insomuch that there was no part of their frame that it did not cause to quake; yea, it did pierce them to the very soul, and did cause their hearts to burn.”

The Nephites were immersed in the Spirit of God. Earlier, they had heard His voice confirm that they were preserved because of their righteousness. What I think is most significant is that His Spirit poured out upon them first, and then the miraculous visit by the Savior. 

“...behold, they saw a Man descending out of heaven; and he was clothed in a white robe; and he came down and stood in the midst of them; and the eyes of the whole multitude were turned upon him, and they durst not open their mouths, even one to another, and wist not what it meant, for they thought it was an angel that had appeared unto them. And it came to pass that he stretched forth his hand and spake unto the people, saying: Behold, I am Jesus Christ, whom the prophets testified shall come into the world.” (3 Nephi 11:8)

He Taught Them, Blessed Them, and He Loved Them—He Ministered to Them

We know that He spent some precious time with the Nephites, teaching His gospel truths, blessing each of them including very sacred moments with the children. He allowed each person to touch Him and witness the marks on His body to seal upon their hearts the knowledge and reality of His life, death, and resurrection. However, the part of this event that I wanted to highlight today came next. 

He spent time teaching, blessing, and loving them, however His visit with them was nearing a close. He announces to the people that He must soon return to His Father. The people are struck with sadness, and a longing for Him to stay with them. 

3rd Nephi 17:5-6: “And it came to pass that when Jesus had thus spoken, he cast his eyes round about again on the multitude, and beheld they were in tears, ... And he said unto them: Behold, my bowels are filled with compassion towards you.”

Notice that the Savior’s first reaction to their sadness is an acknowledgment of their longing. Imagine what it would be like for you, in that moment to hear the Savior say, “I see you are hurting. I see your longing. I am here for you.” He could have reassured them with, “You will be fine. Just remember what I’ve taught you... you will be fine.” No, instead He responded with one of the most significantly beautiful acts of ministering. Take note of what He did next: 

The Savior called out, “Have you any sick among you? Bring them hither. Have ye any that are lame, or blind or halt, or maimed or leprous, or that are withered, that are deaf, or that are afflicted in any manner? Bring them hither and I will heal them, for I have compassion upon you, and my bowels are filled with mercy.”

I want to point out that He did not qualify this invitation with:

• Only those who are worthy

• Only those who have not sinned

• Only those who are not questioning their faith

In 3 Nephi 17: 9 says, “they that are afflicted in ANY manner.” This confirms that He wanted to heal every ache and affliction including those physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.  Jesus did heal them EVERY one. This is so important to me because it is a powerful reminder of the value of souls, regardless of who they are, where they are, what status they may be assigned in their community, and whether or not they have sinned. 

These people had immediate access to the savior’s healing. Have you ever felt a longing for your burdens and afflictions to be lifted? Do you remember a time when you needed your dear bishop or RS president or neighbor or friend to comfort you, or to assist you in some way? Maybe you have pled with God to inspire your YM or YW leader to notice your struggling son or daughter, and somehow connect with them. Maybe you have longed for help when someone in your family was slipping in their faith and falling away from the flock. While the Nephites in America had immediate access to the Savior’s healing power, we have access to, and can serve as an “extension of the Savior’s arms” in ministering and being ministered to by others.  

The Part of Ministering We Don’t Talk About

There is a part of ministering that we don’t often talk about. It is probably because we don’t often know what to say, or what to do in the cases where souls have slipped in their faith, or even completely left the Church. You may be close to someone who has an ache in their heart due to questions, disappointment, a sense of being abandoned by God or those who, for whatever reason, are slipping in their faith. Maybe you, yourself are challenged by this, and all of this resonates with you today. Our typical reaction to those struggling is avoidance. We might be prompted to look the other way in an awkward lack of knowing what to say. We assume we need to fix it, but we know we can’t, so we go in the opposite direction hoping they will be ok. 

I want to offer some insight from my work with countless suffering souls who come to me and sit in my office in pain and loss of their faith. In my work with couples, families and individuals, I see this battle with faith, this desperation, and accompanying heartache almost every day. When I sit with them, I sense the heaviness, and I can feel the weight of it. However, every single time it happens I am so grateful they feel safe to come to me to process their feelings. Through the years I have learned from these beautiful souls, and I am so grateful for what I have learned. 

We can learn much from studying how the Savior ministered to suffering souls during his ministry, recognizing that His was a perfect way, and an example for us to follow. The way the Savior ministered is completely in line with what those struggling with their faith say they long for. I want to share some very real experiences, and then outline what I have found these people need more than anything.

Recently, I sat with a couple in my office who were struggling in their marriage. That day, instead of talking about their relationship, they respectfully asked if they could talk about why they left the church. They said they were grieving over the loss of what had been so important in their lives, and that recently that grief was interfering with their well-being and ability to focus on their relationship. 

Interestingly, as they described their journey, I noticed that about the same time they lost their faith their marriage also slipped into danger. They didn’t notice the correlation, but it was something that did not surprise me because I had seen the same phenomenon many times with other couples in similar faith crises. With tears in his eyes, the husband said: 

“I’ve served in callings with my friends in the ward for 20 years. And when I left the church, not one of them asked me why. They just let me go. It’s been 3 years and they don’t talk to me; they don’t check on me, they don’t say anything about it. So, I tell myself, I guess the relationship wasn’t real after all. I guess it was right to leave.” 

He said he felt angry but wanted someone to help him with his doubt. I found that very interesting... He said he had not told anyone that, but he felt disappointed no one even showed interest in opening up a dialogue. His wife had recently felt so lonely she slipped into depression. Most of her friends were members of the Church, and now that they had left the Church, she felt like her friends rejected her, and they slowly began to leave her out of their plans.  

I am not convinced people do this maliciously, in fact I am pretty certain those who were aware of this couple’s exit from the Church were heartbroken, confused, and anxious about what to do. Some might hear this account of the couple’s experience and come back with “They caused their own loneliness when they left the Church!” Remember the Savior’s response to the people when he saw tears running down their cheeks near the end of his visit with them? He demonstrated through His actions, “I see you are hurting. I am here for you. I will tarry with you a little longer. Please bring your afflictions to me.” He responded with compassion, and sweet transparency He said, “My bowels are filled with compassion for you.” 

What these aching souls need above all else, is genuine, consistent love and acceptance. They need friendship, and an even greater abundance of love. Some simple examples of what this couple, and so many others who are struggling with their faith long to hear are:

• “I’m here for you.”

• “I miss you... I’m interested in what you are facing.”

• “Your questions are welcome.”

• “I’m sure it’s been hard for you.”

• “I love you, and I care about how you are doing.”

• “I’m not here to judge you, I am here to be your friend.”

The Savior taught us that the most powerful force in this world and a key element of the greatest commandments of all is love. We are to love the Lord our God and love one another. Love heals aching souls. Love is an invitation for greater connection, and progress toward healing. 

A beautiful example of commitment to love EVERY one, excluding no one is found in 1 Samuel 17:34, We read about David telling the king a story about tending a flock of his father’s sheep. 

David said: “Thy servant kept his father’s sheep. And there came a lion and a bear and took a lamb out of the flock. And I rent out after him and smote him, and delivered the lamb out of his mouth and when he arose against me, I caught him by his beard and smote him and slew him.”

When a member of our flock is snatched by a “lion”, and is symbolically in the lion’s mouth, we can’t turn and look the other way and consider them lost. Maybe it seems easier to just tend to those who are in the masses. It requires extra effort and courage to reach outside the masses to go toward the outlier.  It requires sacrifice and compassion to lift and build a soul who might be floundering, struggling, questioning. 

It can feel hopeless when someone questions their faith or for a time, leaves the Church. But they matter! We love them! Love is the catalyst that will form a bridge that enables the Holy Ghost to remove the gap of darkness, and lead to the Savior’s healing power. We don’t always have the answers, but we have the most powerful tool pointed out and demonstrated by the Savior... love. We must not just let the lion take them away. 

Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf said: 

“It takes lots of work—small, little, almost unnoticeable paint strokes that will help to make the picture perfect and whole. The painter knows exactly what he wants to achieve. The paint strokes may look random or chaotic to some outsider, but they are purposefully placed for the masterwork to be completed. Praying, caring, and patiently reaching out to people around us will help us all to come closer to Christ. Your daily small acts of kindness, compassion, and love for God and His children will bring people within the grasp of God’s love. Each stroke is important. You are important. You are needed, your work is needed, nothing is too small or insignificant.”

(Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Facebook, Mar. 19, 2021, facebook.com/dieterf.uchtdorf)

Here are some very effective things we can do as we seek to love those souls who feel displaced or have chosen to leave the flock. These are what I have found to be most powerful in ministering to these aching souls. 

1. Find out what they are willing to be a part of. Anytime they are with you, they will feel the power of the Light of Christ and the presence of the Holy Ghost, whose role is to convey love of God, and to bear witness of truth. 

2. Make yourself available for conversations and to allow their questions to be heard. You don’t have to have the answers, but your interest in their questions sends a strong message of acceptance. If the Spirit has been invited to participate in that conversation, you will be prompted and know what to say. 

3. They need to feel the spirit and abundance of love. If you bring that with you whenever you visit them, they will want to be near you more often. 

Notice how each of these suggestions involve the presence of the Spirit and the power of love. President M. Russell Ballard taught: 

“True conversion comes through the power of the Spirit. When the Spirit touches the heart, hearts are changed. When individuals … feel the Spirit working with them, or when they see the evidence of the Lord’s love and mercy in their lives, they are edified and strengthened spiritually and their faith in Him increases. These experiences with the Spirit follow naturally when a person is willing to experiment upon the word. This is how we come to feel the gospel is true.”  

(M. Russell Ballard, Now Is the Time, Ensign, Nov. 2000, 75).

In our ministering to others, and especially those who are struggling with their faith, we must remember that we are not alone. We are promised the companionship of the Holy Ghost. Most importantly, the companionship of the Savior. When we are immersed in loving others, we are doing the Lord’s work, and He will labor with us. Of this I bear witness in the sacred name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.